shopping

The other morning I woke up with someone in my bed. The person was wearing an eye mask so I thought it must be Mummy. It wasn't, it was Rosie! She came back to my house and snuggled up next to me. I was so happy to see her. I told her that I always had milk and make-up in the morning but that isn't entirely true, I actually only have milk unless I can sneak a bit of lip stick on when no one is looking. Sadly she didn't really believe me but I did get some milk so that was good. Mummy took us into town today. She doesn't do this very often. Apparently it's quite stressful. When we were shopping I managed to try on 6 pairs of shoes, 4 bangles and balance a pair of ear-rings on my ears. My little sister managed to drop 2 pieces of salami, 4 slices of cucumber and her pitta sandwich 4 times on the floor. She also managed to scream with boredom more times than I did all last week. I quite enjoyed shopping and I think Mummy did too. I will try and encourage Mummy to take us into H&M Kids next time. I'm sure I to find a pair of heels that fit me there.

red faced

I have been very tired today (really yesterday) and a little tetchy. My little sister wakes very early then she throws something out of her cot then realises that she wants it back. Pointless. My little sister will then have two more naps in the day to recover from her early morning starts but I won't. I am 3 and a quarter and far too old to nap. Now-a-days I only nap in the car and I can fall asleep within a minute of the car moving. I expect Mummy loves that. We didn't go out in the car today which is why I had some rather uncontrollable tired-person-rants. Lovely Rosie came over today. She's gorgeous. Her Mummy is poorly in hospital so we made her a picture to make her smile. The picture is huge, the size of me, in fact, it is me. Rosie drew around me then we coloured me in only I got distracted with some face paints and coloured my whole face red. Daddy said I looked embarrassed and asked me what I was blushing about. I didn't know what he meant. I did get very upset when Mummy decided that the red on my face should we washed off. I had only just put it on. Why should I take it off? So I cried and stropped and hit out a little then gave in. Then I was a little embarrassed that Rosie saw me that way...

pink lipstick

My cousin Tara looked so beautiful today. I want to look like her when I am 7. She had on leggings with lace, a stripy jersey dress, ballet pumps and was carrying a metallic pink handbag. Not only that, but she was wearing our great grandmas lipstick which is the colour of my pink necklace which must be about 20 years old. That's amazing isn't it? I saw the sea again today but I didn't touch it. It was miles away behind fields with cows eating grass and huge puddles. We picked and ate raspberries at a PYO farm then flew a kite. I held the kite strings whilst holding onto Tara's pink bag which Daddy thought was very clever but a little irritating I think. My little sisters chicken pox have fallen off her face but we don't know where they have gone. I wonder that if we found them and put them under her cot mattress, she would get money from the pox fairies. I will hunt for some later.

sipping cocktails

I missed going to nursery this week, it can be so boring at home with Mummy and and my little sister. We did go to Toys-r-us on Thursday which I thought was amazing but Mummy didn't. She said it was a hideous store. I want to go on holiday in Toys-r-us, they have sweets and pop to drink so I wouldn't starve. We had a lovely trip out in Grandpa's new car yesterday. It's the size and colour of a baby elephant and is really clean not like Mummy's crumby car. Granny came too which means lots and lots of cuddles which I like very much. We went to see the sea and ate ice-creams. I love the sea as much as Granny and want to go again and again. Me and my little sister were little angels and it was very nice to get away from moody Mummy. Sometimes I can't help being grumpy with Mummy too. It just happens. It did when we got home and ate dinner. It's usually dinner that causes problems. Perhaps I should try and sit still and eat rather than be fidget-knickers but I find it really difficult. When Daddy got home I helped him cut the grass. I felt so grown up last when we finished as we sat in the sun drinking cocktails and eating spicy Bombay Mix (which was horrid). I had apple juice with a sprig of lavender. Mummy and Daddy had Pimms. I went straight to sleep after my story and didn't mess about for the first time in ages but that was because my little sister was already fast asleep so we couldn't play 'scream till they snap'. I love that game.

handage

Lots happened yesterday. I now sleep in the big room with my little sister. Mummy now has my room as an office. And Daddy now has lots of space in the basement because Mummy's stuff has gone into my old room, now her office. Yesterday we saw lovely Rosie, Chris, Jim, Julie, Sam, Mia and Stanley the dog which was really really nice. Rosie gave me lots of cuddles which I love very much and some pressies which I love very much too. Jim had a bandage on his hand because he had just had an operation. His hand looked very silly as it was really, really big and rather badly wrapped. Julie said he did it himself which would make sense. We had a delicious BBQ and I ate lots. My little sister didn't, which is unusual. She looked really poorly, with big spots and sad eyes. When we got home, my little sister and I shared the big room for the first time. It was fun only I fell asleep before I could be a nuisance to Mummy and Daddy. I made up for it tonight. Me and my little sister messed around and screamed non stop for about an hour. Daddy was getting fed up which just made it even more fun. I heard Mummy say "do you think boys scream?" It made me think... I bet they do but they don't admit it. I've been quite bored but I have also been quite a little bit moody. I heard rumours that we might go camping today which would have been brilliant but Daddy said it would rain. It didn't. He just wanted to watch the Grand Prix and the Golf. B-o-r-i-n-g.

wet weather dens

Yesterday was very wet - again. We went over to our lovely Granny and Grandpa's house to eat sausages and have cuddles. It rained all the time we were there and the rain kept making the telly funny and not work properly which was very annoying. Granny wanted to watch the golf and I wanted to watch a film. Mummy suggested that I watched a film on Granny's laptop. Clever Mummy. Which meant Granny could try and watch the boring golf only couldn't because of the bad T.V. Grandpa was trying to sleep, Mummy was trying to work and my little sister slept peacefully upstairs. Granny made a den for me with an itchy blanket and her legs as a roof. I love making dens and having food and drink, crayons and paper in them. I don't think I have ever watched a film on a laptop before but I will try and do that again, it was brilliant. Today Mummy and Daddy have said I can sleep in the big bed in my little sisters bedroom. I think they are doing something with my room. I think Mummy wants a work space to make stuff. My little sisters room is the best in the house. It's big and light and airy and will be a fun room to play in. I'm very excited to be in that room with my little sister. I can't wait till bedtime (for once).

raspberry picking

My little sister now has chicken pox only she doesn't seem to be too bothered by them. At the moment, she is emptying my pen and crayon box and sucking on felt tips and glue. She knows she shouldn't do this because every time Mummy turns around to look at her, she stops and smiles sweetly back. Yesterday we went in the car to visit my Great Nana and my Auntie and Cousin. Mummy let me sit in the middle seat in the front of our car which is brilliant as I can kick the radio on and off. I love seeing my cousin Lucy. Auntie Amy was making meringues and she let me help her and then lick the bowl. Daddy's just told Mummy off for letting my little sister eating the contents of my pen box. Naughty Mummy. Yesterday, on the way home, we picked up Mummy's friend Jody who is very sad at the moment. We then went to gather raspberries. We ate lots and Mummy picked lots. I think she's going to make raspberry vodka. What's that? I forgot to wash the shampoo out of my hair last night so I'm going to have another shower. It's a cunning trick. I love showers but not rain showers. They are boring now.

plaits

Today I woke up without any dreadlocks which pleased Mummy lots. This is because I very kindly almost sat still while she put lots of plaits in my hair last night which made my hair curly not knotty in the morning. I really liked the curls but I wouldn't let Mummy plait them again this evening as I didn't want to sit still again. I only sat still yesterday as I persuaded Mummy to paint my finger nails pink. She only painted 2 nails but that was better than no pink nails. This morning Mummy took me to my new nursery school. I did some painting and sticking and gluing and played outside on the trikes and bikes. I think I will really like my new school. They even grow their own snacks. After nursery Mummy decided we would go to Sainsbury's. This is often traumatic for us all as me and my little sister get very bored and tired. Today was different. Mummy decided it would be a good idea if I took my little toy buggy to push that around the shop. Mummy is very cunning as not only did this keep me occupied but it also meant Mummy knew where I was as the buggy makes loud, ratterly noises when I push it. My little sister was very funny. She kept laughing at people then she started shouting. Mummy fed her lots of food to keep her quiet but it didn't really work.

full of latitude

We've been away. Last night we got back very, very late from camping at Latitude Festival. We went on Friday. We left late as Mummy and Daddy are quite disorganised. I was getting really grumpy on Friday and very fed up as I was being told we were going to a festival (what ever that was) and we were going camping. I love camping. But when ever I asked "when?" they just said "when we are ready. Go and sit down and be patient". I do not like doctors or hospitals and I do not want to be a patient so I wasn't. Finally we did leave and it was very exciting until I fell asleep. When I woke up, we were in this huge field with my lovely cousins and friends. There were tents everywhere and I could hear loud music. There were even beach huts and tee-pees but horrid smelly places to have wee-wees. After we had set up camp we went through a beautiful wood, across a lake, past a cat-avan (people dressed up as cats) and up a small hill where there were lots and lots and lots of people and colourful sheep. It was amazing. I was very excited and then we went to see The Magic Numbers. I danced the way I do at home, wiggling my bottom but when I saw people giggle, I stopped. Daddy put me on his shoulders so I could see them and I was the tallest 3 year old there. My little sister slept through some of the music but she really liked Arcade Fire and Scott Matthews and Alan Carr. I really liked the children's corner where we played with bales of straw for ages and ages and watched my uncle's puppet theatre production called The Pedlar of Swaffham in a big tent which was was brilliant. I really loved the festival and want to go again next year. I was very sad to come home but it was really nice to play with my paints again this morning and make jam tarts.

in my prime

I'm being very grumpy but I like it. I'm at my grumpy prime, I'm 3. I've been pushing Mummy and Daddy's to the maximum tonight. I know I have because I can see despair in their eyes and steam coming out of their ears. I think it's because I'm tired and as Mummy will agree (she should know), tolerance and tiredness do not mix very well. I'm still getting over chicken pox (Jody said you catch it from eating chicken, is this true?) and due to still being vaguely ill, I think it's OK to be vaguely vile don't you? Daddy made me giggle earlier, he was trying to get me to "GO TO SLEEP" and every time I reappeared at the door (which was lots) he said "do you want to go camping at the weekend? Well if you do, then GET IN TO BED". So I did... then I got out of bed, reappeared at the door gate and I still know I'll be going camping at the weekend. Guess who won? ME! Mummy's lovely friend Jody looked after me and my little sister this afternoon and she took us to the park by the river which I liked very much. I also liked very much seeing my friend.He is a boy and I met him in the park last week. We have bike races with no hands and play on the slides and he speaks odd sounding words to his Dad which I can't understand. Jody said he was from Turkey. Do you get Turkey Pox if you eat that too?

cruel gruel

Unlike the rest of my family, I don't really like food. My little sister eats more than me and she is half my size. She likes all foods except when Mummy feeds her. She hates being fed. Apparently, my little sister is very clever as she can feed herself with a spoon AND she manages to get nearly all of it her mouth not on the floor. I can't be bothered to eat or feed myself so Mummy has to do it otherwise I really wouldn't eat a thing except crunchy things which I do like - sometimes. I haven't eaten much recently, I've been too busy scratching, moaning about scratching and more scratching. Today Mummy decided to cook a hearty soup to make me better "full of goodness" she said. I helped her chop vegetables and peel carrots and I was even thinking the soup might be nice. It wasn't, it was horrid. Full of barley and lentils and soggy not crunchy vegetables. I know I need to eat as today my skirt fell to the floor in the shops but feeding me gruel is not the answer. Yuck.

plucked

I'm think I look like a freshly plucked chicken. I looked at myself in the mirror today and was quite upset when I saw so many horrid spots. Mummy sometimes gets spots. I always point them out to her but she hasn't pointed ALL mine out to me which is odd. I do feel better today. Not so itchy or sore and perhaps tomorrow I will feel even better. It was really sunny today so I played outside lots. We went and ate roast pork at our friends house where Stanley the dog lives. I played with a small frog the size of my thumb in a sink of brown water but I had to stop when my little sister tried to climb in too. Later we couldn't find the frog. I think Stanley ate it.

owch

I really, really don't like chicken pops. At first I thought "what is the fuss about" now I understand. As you know I am 3, in fact I'm 3 and 3 months and I have never felt so poorly as I have done today. Every single bit of me itches. Even my eyes and ears and mouth. It is horrid and I can't wait for them to go away. Daddy and Mummy keep telling me not to itch but I can't help it. It feels good to scratch them then it feels really sore. My little sister doesn't have chicken pops and when she does get it, I will be very understanding. I hope she doesn't get it as bad as me. Mummy thinks I have as many as 400 spots. I don't even know what that means. Mummy had a good idea and suggested I painted pink calamine lotion on my spots but I think I have too many and it would take too long. Apparently I will feel much better tomorrow and I have also been told that they don't itch when you're asleep. Is that Mummy and Daddy's way of trying to get some peace?

blackmail nails

My skin is getting really itchy and I have spots appearing all the time. I wish Mummy hadn't cut my nails as I could really scratch at them. I only let Mummy cut my nails because I said I would let her if she painted my fingers bright pink but she only painted two nails. I love pink and I love nail polish. Everyday I ask Mummy to touch up my toe nails with polish, sometimes she does sometimes she doesn't. Today she did. Mummy is actually quite smart as she now blackmails me through my pink nails. If I'm being stubborn and naughty, difficult and shouty, she threatens me with the nail polish remover. It works every time.

chicken itch

I did not have chicken last night and now I have chicken pox. Chickens are confusing me. I see them in fields with feet and feathers then I see them with stuffing and gravy with no feathers or feet. And when I ask what chicken pox is Mummy points to the spots on my body which have no feet, beaks or feathers. I think my sister has spots too. She is turning into my naughty little sister. She screams when we are eating and I don't like it. She then wipes all her food on the table which I do like but Mummy doesn't. Today we did eat the chicken we cooked last night and it was far nicer than the smelly fish. We had it with peas, green beans gravy and lumpy, yucky mash potato. Even my little sister thought it was disgusting and she eats everything. Today George came to play with me. George and I always argue. We can't help it. We like it. I like George, he throws balls very well and jumps very high. We found a black ladybird with red spots, is it true they are bad?

chicken switch

I have started growling at Mummy when she is being unreasonable. It is a deep "OOhhhhrrrgghhhh" sound which I like to make when I really don't want to do something. Mummy obviously does not like me making this noise as she turns away and hums. How annoying is that? Doesn't she realise I'm just copying her. Even my little sister has stared making very annoying noises. She makes loud and repetative sounds to get attention. Of course it works as they are so loud and repetative and everyone gets annoyed. Every day my little sister is getting more funny. When she wakes from her naps I run upstairs and climb into her cot and hide under her blanket and tickle her and tease her. She loves it when I am in her cot and Mummy loves it as she knows neither of us can climb out on our own. I helped Mummy stuff a chicken for supper tonight. We put herbs and bacon and butter under the skin and then baked it and smelt delicious. Then when me and my little sister came to sit down and eat chicken, it wasn't on the plate, disgusting tinned mackerel was instead. What was all that about? To show my annoyance I dribbled my juice on the table. I knew this would get Mummy cross - it did. hurrah.

i love lidls

Like Mummy, I'm actually getting rather fed up with this miserable wet weather. But unlike Mummy I'm not too bothered about getting the washing dry or feeling trapped indoors. It does not worry me when I play outside and get wet as it means I get to wear my favourite swimsuit that use to belong to my big cousin. Sometimes I like to wear the spotty swimsuit in the bath. Sometimes I just like to wear under my clothes although that does cause problems at times. Yesterday Mummy promised me a trip to Lidls to buy new water colour paints and paper but we didn't go. We went today instead. I love Lidls. It's probably the only store that lets me ride around on my pink bicycle. Before we left to go on our cycle ride to Lidls Mummy tripped and fell into our herb garden whilst holding my little sister. She was very cross and mumbled something and my little sister cried lots. I haven't been to bed on time for 4 nights in a row. Last night I went to an 18th birthday. There were lots of girls with lovely hair and make-up and pretty shoes. I can't wait to be as tall as them. I don't like looking at thighs all the time and I want to wear heels that fit me properly.