Friday

i am not a dog

I was desperate for my Mummy to look at me this afternoon but she just wouldn't do it. I know why. It was because I had covered my whole face with blue water colour paint. I started with the cheeks, moved on to the lips, then painted big strips over each eye. I looked great, I know I did AND my Mummy knew I did too only she wouldn't look at me. Why do parents do that ignoring thing? It may work for dogs 'only give praise for good behaviour and always ignore bad' but what I had done wasn't bad it was creative and inventive and was surely worthy of some sort of smirk. Tomorrow I will try and make Mummy crack. I know she is only moments away from laughing. Perhaps if I paint my little sisters face instead of mine and give her a more professional make-up application she will not only laugh but see my awakening talent too.

Thursday

feta bribes

Today has been a bit gloomy because Mummy has been a bit moody. I didn't help matters by painting the soles of my feet with mucky coloured paint and walking on the floor which is only chipboard so I can't really see what the problem is. My little sister then crawled over and started eating the paint off one of the brushes. She not only covered her lips, tongue and cheeks with black paint but she got it all over her clothes too. Mummy got really cross and dumped us both in the shower but we really like showers so we weren't upset or bothered at all. Thankfully Mummy's friend popped over at lunch time and bought them a fresh crab to eat which for some reason cheered her up no end. Then Grandma came over in the afternoon which was a lovely surprise. My little sister gave her cuddles and I gave her some sweet peas. At supper time, Mummy put small whites cubes of cheese on my plate and when I asked her what it was she just said "Feta". She did not say "feta cheese" because I don't like cheese. I knew I was being duped so I took them off my plate. But then Mummy told me they tasted like olives so I ate one and I actually really liked it. I then ate more and Mummy bribed me with a feta square every time I looked like I wasn't going to eat my meal. Bribing is bad - isn't it?

Wednesday

mr manners

Today I went to nursery which was good fun. Then I came back and made cakes with play-dough while Mummy made biscuits - again. My little sister was asleep for ages this afternoon which was nice. Some times I like the peace and quiet like Mummy but I would never tell her. Granny and Grandpa dropped in this afternoon. Granny was a little tipsy and had pink cheeks. Grandpa wasn't tipsy and didn't have pink cheeks because he was driving. I gave Grandpa a cuddle today for the first time ever. I think it made him very happy. This is a picture of Mr Manners. I know manners are important because I am always being told they are. Mr manners frowns when I forget to say please and thank you and smile and wait for people to answer. He should be smiling today because I have been a good girl. I know I have been because Mummy has told me.

Tuesday

loo roll

Mum's a bit moody today. I think the lack of sunshine and the endless supply of wet weather are dampening her sense of humour. I didn't exactly help its dwindling supply when I unravelled a new loo roll for about the 12th time. She was very cross but she totally over reacted as usual. After she had calmed down, she took us to see some friends who live by the sea about an hour away. I snoozed but my little sister didn't - much to mummy's annoyance I expect. She likes it when she can drive in silence and when I don't keep asking questions. On the way back she stopped off at a nursery to buy plants and potatoes and eggs. She took me into the big greenhouse where I sniffed all the different types of flowers. I pretended every plant smelt delicious but the truth was that only the carnations did and I don't like them much. When we got home I ate some cornflakes Mummy had just bought. I never eat breakfast and I knew this would stir some sort of remark as it was nearly supper time. It did. I won.

Monday

first post

I am 3 and my sister is 1 and a bit. My little sister is probably going to be the naughty one but right now it's me who's performs the best strops. You see, I'm learning to talk. I can string sentences together and I now get reactions. I like it. I even said 'God' repetitively at the dinner table but both Mummy and Daddy tried to correct me and kept saying 'gosh'. Next time they say God, I will say 'Gosh' to them. They're lucky I'm not saying 'Jesus Christ', that's what I hear them saying all the time. I'll try that one next...I bet they say, "you mean cheese and rice don't you"? Parents can be so patronising.