Wednesday

returning home

We've been away at Grandma and Grandpa's M's house which was brilliant. I didn't want to come home at all and I cried and cried and cried when we did. I stood in the path up to our house and pretended to really properly cry with lots of gulps and sobs. Then our neighbour started talking to me through the fence which made me jump. I told him to be quiet and said that I wanted to cry because I wanted to, and if I wanted to then I could. My little sister was happy to be home and Mummy was happy to be at home because she didn't have to stop my little sister from falling in Grandpa's pond. Today we went to my friends Judy and Betty's huge garden and played in their brilliant Wendy house. They have a climbing frame and swing too. I don't. My lovely friends Rosie and Chrissie were there. Rosie let us jump all over her and tickle her and Chrissie had us on her lap and read us a story using funny voices. I love stories and loved sitting on Chrissie's lap and hope I can do it again very very soon.

Thursday

lippy love

Our Mummy can be SO annoying sometimes. She won't let my little sister climb to the top of the stairs so then my little sister screams when she is taken away. Her scream is so annoying. Even more annoying than Mummy. But what is even more annoying than Mummy is Mummy's sudden cut down on my make-up application. I love make-up and I think I apply it pretty well for someone of my age. I know I could do it better if Mummy would let me. Granny lets me. Today Granny gave me a whole lipstick to myself. Mummy was out. It was brilliant. I was so excited. Mummy came home from shopping and she saw my blushing mouth. She was not happy. Not happy at all. She bribed me into bed saying I could apply some more once I had bathed and cleaned my teeth. So I did. I was being good. I was clean and excited. Then when I asked for bedtime lippy she said NO. That is annoying, mean and very mean. Tomorrow I won't forget about the lack of lippy. I will annoy Mummy until she cracks. She will crack. I will make sure she does.

Monday

24 hour leave

I've been a slack blogger haven't I? Learning to be a disciplined 3 year old is quite tricky but being a disciplined blogger is actually even more difficult than you would think - just ask Mummy. The last time I wrote was nearly a week ago and in that week I have been good, bad, shouty, grunty and a little sweary. I said 'get off you little bugger' when I was being tickled. Naughty aren't I? Mummy didn't react. I hate it when she doesn't react so I said it again. Still no reaction. She didn't even say 'rubber' or 'rubber-dubber' like she usually does as a way to sway me away from using the bugger word. How boring. I have actually been a little bit of an attention seeker in the last week. I have been screaming lots especially when Mummy refuses to let me do things I want, like wear mascara and her red wedge sandals. My little sister has also been screaming and screeching lots. I know she is copying me which I think is great but I know Mummy just finds that it grates. Poor Mummy. Mummy spent a night at the train station on Saturday. We dropped her off in the afternoon and then picked her at the same place the next day. When I spoke to her on the phone on the Sunday morning I thought she was Julie and when she said she was Mummy, I said it couldn't be as she was at the train station. Weird. Daddy then explained that she was with Rosie in London I admit I was a little confused and a little embarrassed. Fancy not regonising my Mummy's voice. I didn't miss Mummy much, in fact it was really good fun with Daddy. He took me and my little sister swimming in a giant paddling pool at Uncle Robs on Saturday. And the next day we went to the seaside and I went on a merry-go-round while my little sister watched. I wouldn't mind if Mummy went away more often, I think I will suggest she does.

Tuesday

hello snail

Yesterday, Granny gave me presents from her holiday in Spain. She bought me a flashing pen and a pink skirt. As I am 3 and a girl, pink is my favourite colour. My little sister was given a really lovely cardigan which wasn't pink but I don't think she minded. Granny and Grandpa bathed me and my little sister and then read us a bedtime story. Me and my little sister then messed about for about 1 hour and I arranged all of Mummy's fabric scraps out on our bedroom floor. I think it looked really pretty and I think Mummy did too but she didn't say so. Today we went to see my friend Lilly and her brother is my little sisters boyfriend. They flirted and then threw a Bart Simpson ball to each other. I was so please to see my wet pet snail on the concrete by the front door when I came home this afternoon. I think he was very pleased to see me too, as I gave him a huge bunch of coriander which he he ate on a piece of wood, inside on the kitchen window sill. Mummy doesn't really like me bringing in my pet snail but I think she was a little too tired to argue with me which I was a little disappointed with. But it was OK as I had a strop with Daddy instead, when I couldn't/wouldn't sit still and eat my baked beans. We didn't mess about much at bed time but I think Mummy won't be very happy when she sees I've emptied all the clothes from the wardrobe onto the floor. Oopps.

Sunday

my weekend

Yesterday Daddy was working so we were stuck with just Mummy...again. But it wasn't too bad in fact it was actually quite good fun. Because it was a nice day we played outside and I made a den under the table with sheets and clothes pegs, duvets and pillows. In the afternoon I helped Mummy make a cake which I really enjoyed. Mummy said I am a better cook than Daddy which made me think daddy must be really, really bad. I also made my first cup of tea. Mummy said even that was better than Daddy's tea but I think she was just being kind as I didn't see her drink any of it. The cake we made had lemons and courgettes in and didn't rise at all which made Mummy slightly cross. Perhaps Daddy could do better? I'll ask him. Today Daddy didn't work and took me and my little sister for a walk to get the Sunday paper. I went on my scooter and my little sister sat in the buggy. When I got a little tired, my clever Daddy put my front wheel in the buggy basket so it became a buggy board. How cool is that! In the afternoon we went to see Chris and Rosie and Rosie took us to Top Shop where I wore silver platform heels and danced to Calvin Harris while my little sister looked confusedly at her reflection. Here's a joke...
Q:
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
A: If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital...te!he!


Friday

currant lipstick

I love it when the sun shines. It makes everyone happy except my little sister or just seems to grunts lots. I taught her to grunt. It's what I do when I don't get my own way. I think my little sister does it for the same reasons but it's difficult to know really. When my little sister isn't grunting, eating and sleeping she is moving around around the garden like a crab. Today she moved in and out and in and out of our paddling pool 206 times and didn't fall in once which was very clever. When Mummy had had enough of my little sisters grunting, she put her to bed for a nap. I then helped Mummy cook. I love cooking but not as much as I think Mummy does. I made a salmon and pea tart for my friend Chris. I whisked the eggs, poured the cream, snipped the chives and ate the frozen peas. When Daddy got home he made a shower from our pear tree. He made it with a plastic tub with 2 holes, a meat-hook and some string. My Daddy is very very clever isn't he? But the best bit by far today was when Mummy let me play with her make-up. I'm very good at make-up. Mummy let me do her up after I'd done myself and we both had lips the colour of red currants. I think I made Mummy look beautiful but she said something about looking like a drag queen - what ever that is.

Tuesday

(not) eating outside

Yesterday was busy but fun. Mummy took me to Asda and didn't shout at me for the first time ever. Last week she whistled at me like a dog when I sat on the floor and wouldn't go to her and lots of people stared and tutted. Mummy turned red and muttered something about never shopping again - that threat didn't last long did it? Anyway, I was as good as gold and I didn't even need any bribes. When we got home my little sister unpacked all the shopping which was very nice of her. Then Mummy quickly tidied the house as lovely Chris and Jim were coming for lunch. t was very lovely to see them. Jim bought me a book with a CD Rom but I know Mummy says the CD won't work on her mac. Umm, I don't believe her. She's a computer hog and doesn't want me to share her connection to the outside world. We ate lunch outside although I didn't eat much at all, just a carrot, I was too busy talking and playing in the hammock and on my scooter. Sitting still and eating is boring when you are 3. Playing on bikes and scooters is so much more exciting but what was more exciting was being given a red bikini. I love it.

Monday

camping

Every year we go camping. I love camping. The first time I went I was just 4 weeks old, we went to Southwold. I slept lots and drank lots and Mummy and Daddy didn't sleep lots but drank lots. This weekend we camped in Wells on a big field with lots and lots of tents and children and mosquitoes. Camping makes us all happy and less snappy, especially Mummy who was very, very tearful last week. Mummy didn't even cry when she caught her flip flop in the front wheel of her bike and fell off with my little sister in the seat on the back. We went paddling when it was a marsh tide but the water disappeared really quickly which was odd. I really like the seaside and camping and being outside. I slightly missed Cbeebies but not as much as Daddy missed Big Brother. On Sunday we saw Uncle London Jamie and his fluffy dog Stitch at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I went to the pub with the boys and fell asleep in Daddy's arms while Mummy stayed in and watched the Hungarian Grand Prix. I think she fancies Lewis Hamilton.